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Gay Men Seattle Article

Kissing becomes a lost art: Dr. Dick answers your questions

magazine.adamandstevestore files/IMG_3 Dr. Richard Wagner" width="170" height="170" align="leftEach week, our readers have the opportunity to Ask Dr. Dick questions regarding sex. Richard Wagner, Ph.D., ACS, is a Clinical Sexologist in private practice in Seattle, Washington. He's been a practitioner of Sex Therapy and Relationship Counseling for nearly 30 years, and has written an online sex advice column for well over 10 years, Dr Dick Sex Advice: along with a companion site: Dr. Dick Sex Toy Reviews. This week Dr. Dick tackles a question from a bisexual male about kissing. Read more of Dr. Dick's articles in the magazine section at 3787078 adamandstevestore " The Adam And Steve StoreThe Adam And Steve Store.
Kiss OFF!
Question: I'm bi male, 25, and I have both female and male lovers. Right now, I'm in more of a same sex phase. I'm dating two different guys that I like a lot. Both are really nice and fun and the sex is pretty good. But neither one of these guys - one is 23 and the other is 25, knows how
to kiss worth a damn. And I can't get worked up without kissing. The 23 year old claims to
be mostly straight and says kissing is too queer for him. The other guy is all like all open
mouth teeth. Yuck! Is it just me, or is kissing a lost art for gay men?
Answer:
You are so right on, Gil! Kissing is a lost art, but not just for gay men. Women tell me that
their straight male partners don't know squat about kissing either. Is it just too intimate a
thing for manly men nowadays, or what?
And yeah, it is queer for one guy to kiss another guy. It's supposed to be, for Pete's sake!
What, does the 23 year old think he'll maintain his "straightness" if he blows and buggers
another dude, but doesn't kiss him? WTF!
In my book, kissing is essential to satisfying sex. If ya can't kiss, I'd be willing to bet you not
a good lover either. Oh, that's not to say that you won't be able to bump parts; any monkey
can do that. But real good lover involves passion and how's there supposed to be passion
without kissing? That's what I'd like to know.
Kissing is often the first sexual experience we have. Whether it's a light kiss from a friend, or
a deep sensuous French kiss with a potential lover. We can express so much with kissing -
love, passion, friendship, commitment - and we can do so while fully clothed.
Kissing someone on the mouth is bliss. But taking those kisses to other places on your
partner's body is a mighty fine idea too. I used to think kissing came naturally to us all, but
now I'm convinced that's now so. It could be we all have an innate ability that just needs to
be nurtured before it blossoms. Whatever the case may be; there are some things the
kissing challenged ought know.
Always make sure that your breath is fresh. There's nothing worse than kissing someone
with bad breath! This is particularly important for those of you who still smoke.
Passionate kissing not only involves your mouth, it also involves body contact, hugging and
touching.
If you're all open mouth, teeth and drool, you're not kissing.
If you rush to jam your tongue into your partner's mouth and down his/her throat, you're not
kissing.
If you're biting instead of nibbling, you're not kissing.
If you're trying to cover his or her entire mouth with yours like some kind of freaky suction
cup, you're not kissing.
If you're kissing with your eyes wide open, you're not kissing.
If your tongue is poking and prodding in your partner's mouth like it is searching for lost food,
you're not kissing.
If someone is kissing you and you're not kissing back, you're not kissing.
If you're body is stiff, like a frozen slab of beef, you're not kissing.
If your hands are stationary without a thing to do, you're not kissing.
If you think kissing is something ya gotta do just to get laid, you're not kissing.
If you're pressed for technique, or you're simply clueless about where to begin, start by
giving your partner a quick peck on the cheek or lips. Then move back a little, look him or
her in the eye, then move in again for another kiss with a bit more passion this time. Slowly
build up the passion and excitement with a series of these kinds of seductive kisses till
you're all over one another like a bad cold.
Or try light kissing all over your partner's face and neck pausing every now and again for a
deep sigh and a longing look in his/her eyes. Whatever you do, don't suck or slobber, save
that for the blowjob.
If you think you need practice kissing; and unless you've been told that you are a great
kisser, you do need practice. And you're too timid to invite a partner to join you for the
exercise, here's what I propose you do. Make a fist; turn it sideways so that you have the
opening between your thumb and forefinger in front of you. Kiss that. Stand in front of a
mirror and watch yourself. If you look like they do in the movies, you may be on the right
track.
When you think you're getting the hang of it, move on to the real thing. Don't be shy we all
have to start somewhere. You might invite your partner to give you some feedback on how
you're doing. Remember, practice makes perfect.
Good Luck Got a Sex Question?
You've come to the right place.
Contact me here: drdick adamandstevestore
Read more of Dr. Dick's Sex Advice at 3787078 adamandstevestore " The Adam And Steve StoreThe Adam And Steve Store in the magazine section.
I am the president and CEO of the 3787078 adamandstevestore " The Adam And Steve StoreAdam And Steve Store - the all-male gay superstore.

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